Brilliant, thank you Ben. "The decline of the male-breadwinner working-class family form has shifted the experience of women and queers from dependency on the personal domination of a husband or father to dependency on the impersonal domination of the wage." This quote says so much. I think there's also much to be said for the reality that the practical application of the family system is disintegrating because monogamous coupling and childrearing are not happening in the ways they did 100 years ago. A lot of folks are not partnering or bearing children as either a conscious choice or because their lives are just working out that way, for a myriad of reasons. So what is their alternative: nursing homes as elders where they will be subject to neglect and abuse? A new way must definitely be envisioned and put into practical application. Thanks so much for naming it and for your thoughtfulness in beginning the conversation.
What would the alternative be to nursing home care? Even if one is coming from a traditional family structure, they may still end up in there. Most people are incapable of caring for elders at home, as the needs can be great, never mind particularly if they are still working full time/raising children. The scepter of neglect/abuse might be remedied in better circumstances all around, like better models of geriatric care, higher standards, better pay for staff, maybe having them be non-profit, etc. Mist people who end up in nursing homes are also basically driven into poverty in order to qualify for Medicaid to pay for that care.
Thought provoking and well written, Ben! While I prefer fiction to help me ponder community (Octavia Butler comes immediately to mind), I do appreciate hearing about the work of people looking deeply and researching the topic of family abolition as we all seek to live in less violent, patriarchal, and racist structures.
One thing I have learned over time in any group: just because you don't talk about power doesn't mean that there are no issues of power. It is only when we begin to reflect (I prefer to use reflect rather than talk, because reflection can take many forms and doesn't only depend on words) on issues of power that the power dynamics have any chance of changing and being something other than a recreation of our family of origin.
I am new to your substack articles and I found this one most interesting, enlightening, and a bit sad. May the idea of "family" continue to mature and change in the years ahead.
I highly recommend everyone read Caliban and the Witch. It traces this same history of the privatization of care at the very earliest genesis of capitalism.
Also, from the POV of an educator, this article resonates with me. The family as constituted under capitalism cannot possibly handle the immense demands placed on it by capital. That leaves a massive externality that needs to be cleaned up by society. But instead, mostly women were composed into the educational workforce we have today. We end up cleaning up the mess for everyone else.
This is so interesting. I suppose where I have doubts is that this is a really specific and narrow definition of family, right? Where I’m from (Italy) the family is extended and generally pretty supportive. Neoliberal politics are certainly impacting our traditional family set-ups, but historically the family did offer inter-generational support and care in ways that the nuclear family does not. Sure, we could expand way beyond family ties to form communities like the ones you speak of - but does that require abolishing the nurturing ties that extended family does provide in a lot of cultures?
This is such a huge topic. You could start at any point and look at the travesties. I stay within the area of childbirth and early years parenting where one person (the one who birthed) is left with the dependant and the other is left with the responsibility to feed them. Both people are starving for the community where it does not exist.
I have lived in an intentional community. You could explore this area more. Simply placing a bunch of nuclear families and singles of various classes together in one space does not make a harmonious, egalitarian system. But we tried. Some parts worked really well, others fell apart quickly. I suppose I could write more on this!
I though this post was interesting and definitely need to read Racecraft.
I had two thoughts:
1. I think the term ‘family abolition’ is an unfortunate term for a concept that actually could be very affirming.
2. Could you expand more in what you found negative about Catholic Worker in terms of the collective/community aspect of it? I feel like you were trying to get there but hesitating?
Agree about the term family abolition! It frames the family as unequivocally bad and unnecessary and I think this is an issue! Family still matter, and we need more supportive networks too.
Brilliant, thank you Ben. "The decline of the male-breadwinner working-class family form has shifted the experience of women and queers from dependency on the personal domination of a husband or father to dependency on the impersonal domination of the wage." This quote says so much. I think there's also much to be said for the reality that the practical application of the family system is disintegrating because monogamous coupling and childrearing are not happening in the ways they did 100 years ago. A lot of folks are not partnering or bearing children as either a conscious choice or because their lives are just working out that way, for a myriad of reasons. So what is their alternative: nursing homes as elders where they will be subject to neglect and abuse? A new way must definitely be envisioned and put into practical application. Thanks so much for naming it and for your thoughtfulness in beginning the conversation.
What would the alternative be to nursing home care? Even if one is coming from a traditional family structure, they may still end up in there. Most people are incapable of caring for elders at home, as the needs can be great, never mind particularly if they are still working full time/raising children. The scepter of neglect/abuse might be remedied in better circumstances all around, like better models of geriatric care, higher standards, better pay for staff, maybe having them be non-profit, etc. Mist people who end up in nursing homes are also basically driven into poverty in order to qualify for Medicaid to pay for that care.
What a thorough, measured examination of family abolition – guess I've gotta write a different essay now since this one is already written!
Thought provoking and well written, Ben! While I prefer fiction to help me ponder community (Octavia Butler comes immediately to mind), I do appreciate hearing about the work of people looking deeply and researching the topic of family abolition as we all seek to live in less violent, patriarchal, and racist structures.
One thing I have learned over time in any group: just because you don't talk about power doesn't mean that there are no issues of power. It is only when we begin to reflect (I prefer to use reflect rather than talk, because reflection can take many forms and doesn't only depend on words) on issues of power that the power dynamics have any chance of changing and being something other than a recreation of our family of origin.
Thanks again, Ben!
I am new to your substack articles and I found this one most interesting, enlightening, and a bit sad. May the idea of "family" continue to mature and change in the years ahead.
I highly recommend everyone read Caliban and the Witch. It traces this same history of the privatization of care at the very earliest genesis of capitalism.
Also, from the POV of an educator, this article resonates with me. The family as constituted under capitalism cannot possibly handle the immense demands placed on it by capital. That leaves a massive externality that needs to be cleaned up by society. But instead, mostly women were composed into the educational workforce we have today. We end up cleaning up the mess for everyone else.
This is so interesting. I suppose where I have doubts is that this is a really specific and narrow definition of family, right? Where I’m from (Italy) the family is extended and generally pretty supportive. Neoliberal politics are certainly impacting our traditional family set-ups, but historically the family did offer inter-generational support and care in ways that the nuclear family does not. Sure, we could expand way beyond family ties to form communities like the ones you speak of - but does that require abolishing the nurturing ties that extended family does provide in a lot of cultures?
This is such a huge topic. You could start at any point and look at the travesties. I stay within the area of childbirth and early years parenting where one person (the one who birthed) is left with the dependant and the other is left with the responsibility to feed them. Both people are starving for the community where it does not exist.
I have lived in an intentional community. You could explore this area more. Simply placing a bunch of nuclear families and singles of various classes together in one space does not make a harmonious, egalitarian system. But we tried. Some parts worked really well, others fell apart quickly. I suppose I could write more on this!
I though this post was interesting and definitely need to read Racecraft.
I had two thoughts:
1. I think the term ‘family abolition’ is an unfortunate term for a concept that actually could be very affirming.
2. Could you expand more in what you found negative about Catholic Worker in terms of the collective/community aspect of it? I feel like you were trying to get there but hesitating?
Agree about the term family abolition! It frames the family as unequivocally bad and unnecessary and I think this is an issue! Family still matter, and we need more supportive networks too.
ot